I would like to acknowledge that I unintentionally lost contact with a lot of people who were near and dear to me during the last two years. I am using this blog as a medium to apologize to them while citing verbal abuse and resulting depression as a plausible explanation for my erratic behavior.
This is not a cop out and you will read about this phase in future posts should you choose to continue reading. It took me a few months of respect to take the reins back but I am glad that I had someone to tell me that; sometimes we just have to give things up and stop fighting i.e. take a step back to move forward.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Path to Self Discovery
I am starting a blog ...
I grew up with stories of yogis spending considerable amounts of time meditating in the mountains, near the creeks, in the oceans, under the bodhi tree etc. all. Fascinating stories in stunning settings all with a purpose to attain what they were seeking ... be it god or be it my own quest of self discovery.
I have found god and I am in love with her. She takes the form of all the three consorts of the trimurti (the three prime gods in my polytheistic hindu religious beliefs). She starts her day as the goddess of wealth (mahalakshmi), transforms into the goddess of learning (mahasaraswati) around mid-day, and ends the day in the form of mahakali, the goddess of power and destruction. I am in love with her because she's such a chameleon and makes for wonderful mythological stories. She is just like me except that my stories are more recent and believably factual for the most part. Moreover, she listens to me, is happy with the time I spend with her everyday in my own surroundings, grants me my wishes as long as its legitimate and I work towards achieving it, and most importantly she sets my mind to peace ... her name is Mookambika.
I am starting this blog in the hopes that reading it will add to my efforts of learning from my experiences on the path to be a better person. I also want to share my life with whomever reads these entries ... the life of a now 29 year old semi-closeted gay indian guy living in one of the most liberal cities in the world. There will be stories about life, family, friends, work, being a kid, politics, growing up, being gay, coming out, slowly but surely, education, the party scene, getting drunk, geekiness, being stupid, hating being drunk, india, indians, gay indians, hindu mythology, split personalities, getting caught, floozydom, being smart, looking good, out and about, being loud, shopping, food and cooking, america, americans, gay americans, bombay (mumbai), kerala (gods own country), cochin (queen of the arabian sea), san francisco, new york, poughkeepsie (upstate ny), oakland, and berkeley. I will add things to these categories as we go along about "me being me", and any requests based on reader comments. Please feel free and maybe even possibly try real hard to post comments to help me fast track this path to self discovery ... my pseudonym is Ajae.
I grew up with stories of yogis spending considerable amounts of time meditating in the mountains, near the creeks, in the oceans, under the bodhi tree etc. all. Fascinating stories in stunning settings all with a purpose to attain what they were seeking ... be it god or be it my own quest of self discovery.
I have found god and I am in love with her. She takes the form of all the three consorts of the trimurti (the three prime gods in my polytheistic hindu religious beliefs). She starts her day as the goddess of wealth (mahalakshmi), transforms into the goddess of learning (mahasaraswati) around mid-day, and ends the day in the form of mahakali, the goddess of power and destruction. I am in love with her because she's such a chameleon and makes for wonderful mythological stories. She is just like me except that my stories are more recent and believably factual for the most part. Moreover, she listens to me, is happy with the time I spend with her everyday in my own surroundings, grants me my wishes as long as its legitimate and I work towards achieving it, and most importantly she sets my mind to peace ... her name is Mookambika.
I am starting this blog in the hopes that reading it will add to my efforts of learning from my experiences on the path to be a better person. I also want to share my life with whomever reads these entries ... the life of a now 29 year old semi-closeted gay indian guy living in one of the most liberal cities in the world. There will be stories about life, family, friends, work, being a kid, politics, growing up, being gay, coming out, slowly but surely, education, the party scene, getting drunk, geekiness, being stupid, hating being drunk, india, indians, gay indians, hindu mythology, split personalities, getting caught, floozydom, being smart, looking good, out and about, being loud, shopping, food and cooking, america, americans, gay americans, bombay (mumbai), kerala (gods own country), cochin (queen of the arabian sea), san francisco, new york, poughkeepsie (upstate ny), oakland, and berkeley. I will add things to these categories as we go along about "me being me", and any requests based on reader comments. Please feel free and maybe even possibly try real hard to post comments to help me fast track this path to self discovery ... my pseudonym is Ajae.
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